Hope of the Future Page 15
Gideon never looked back. He rarely made eye contact with her anymore. He stormed away, leaving her to wonder why he intervened.
Midway through Hope making food for his men, Gideon watched her slump down. She looked pale and nothing like herself. One of his men, Peter, went over to ask something, she waved him off, so he left her alone.
Gideon took the man aside and asked what was wrong. Peter shrugged. “Something about being dizzy.”
Gideon kept a closer eye on Hope after that. He didn’t like the idea of her being sick. They couldn’t afford anyone getting sick. If someone got sick, it would put the others at risk because medications to treat even a minor cold didn’t exist anymore. Unless someone was lucky enough to come across a small facility that someone hadn’t stolen meds from, which was about zilch. Most diseases and illnesses didn’t respond to treatments.
In this day and age a small cold went from no big deal, to a dangerous flu, or plague, in no time. Once your internal defenses faltered and were put at risk, everything floating around in the air leapt in and took over. Immune systems couldn’t keep up with the way the flu stayed a step ahead of the game.
If Hope posed any threat, Gideon would have to get rid of her. He enlisted Peter’s help to keep a watchful eye on her. The thought of killing her was no longer an idea that made him as happy as it may have, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t put a bullet in her head.
Hope carried the pails of water into the main room as instructed. A wave of dizziness swept through again, much worse than the one that struck before. The buckets smacked flat on the ground, the impact rocking them back and forth, which caused the water to slosh all over the tile. She cursed and staggered against the wall, trying to hold herself up.
Peter came in. She went to wave him off for the gazillionth time, and to tell him off when nausea bubbled to the surface. Hope took off to the bathroom and barely made it. The plumbing didn’t work now, but at least the crap ran out of the building.
When she got the strength back in her to leave the room, Peter was waiting outside. She pushed past, “What is your problem? Leave me alone.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back, pressing a hand to her temple. Hope moved away from his touch. “You don’t have a fever.”
“It’s called stress.” She jerked out of his hold, but Peter was relentless and reclaimed her.
“And you don’t feel anything is wrong?” His gaze traveled over her, studying every inch like she was a weird specimen. It wasn’t because he wanted her. Peter was one of the few people who never bothered her, let alone gawked at her. He’d never been one of the men who harassed her. Some of them never did. Like the man, Frank, who she saved.
“Say . . . a man in my face who won’t leave me alone?”
He shook his head and Hope went to argue when he said, “Stay here.” Peter turned back and put his finger in her face, “I mean it Hope. Stay. Here.”
She shrugged. Not long after, he returned with Gideon in tow. Her stomach churned and she ran back into the bathroom. When she came out of the bathroom both men were waiting for her. Gideon would kill her. If she was sick, she’d get them all sick. Her eyes widened.
Hope began before they could dare, “I’m not sick. I swear. It’s something I ate. I’m sure of it. I don’t get sick.”
Gideon stood there. She probably shouldn’t have said that she never got sick with such confidence, but it came out. Hope grew more self-conscious, the longer Gideon remained quiet. After a time, he shook his head and directed to Peter, “Not possible.”
Hope thought Gideon referred to her comment. “It’s food and stress. There’s every possibility of it,” her words rushed out. She sounded frantic, which didn’t bother her. The way he acted scared her. He’d never been like this with her before. This was . . . different. And he was actually looking at her.
“Shut up, Hope,” Gideon said as though she meant nothing.
“I—I—” she wanted to protest, but when he looked at her again, she stiffened and her mouth snapped shut. Her shoulders slumped and she lowered her head.
“Are you sure?”
Peter said, “Without a doubt, sir. Look at her. Otherwise healthy. Dizzy, nausea. No doubt. I didn’t think it possible and I don’t know who it would belong to, but the signs fit.”
Hope kept her gaze down, afraid of what she’d see. Gideon sighed. “Have you told anyone?”
“Sir?” Peter asked, taken aback. “Why would I? I wasn’t sure what you’d want to do.”
“Good.” The finality made Hope’s head jerk up, hoping to prevent him from killing her. But when she did, it wasn’t Hope the gun was aimed at, her eyes widened and her hand flew over her mouth.
Gideon squeezed the trigger and shot Peter in the side of the head before Peter could react. Peter’s blood sprayed over Hope’s face. She jumped back, slamming against the wall. Other guards rushed in right after.
Hope’s body shook, not knowing what was next, but Gideon holstered the gun. “Get rid of the body.”
Without a question, they grabbed Peter’s limp form and did as told. Two glanced at Hope, but quickly averted their attention to keep Gideon from seeing it.
Gideon led Hope into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. Hope didn’t know what his plans were. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Whatever was happening to her, added to it. Gideon and Peter had figured out whatever she hadn’t.
After Gideon grabbed a clean cloth from the side of the sink, he gave it to her. Hope stood there like an idiot.
“If you plan to kill me, get it over with.”
“I’m not going to kill you, Hope.”
Hope wiped at her face and asked, “Plan on filling me in?”
“You don’t know?”
Hope stopped cleaning and checked out the blood on the rag. “Would I ask? I know I’m not sick. Stress.”
For once, she saw him smile. It wasn’t much, but it was a genuine smile in those cold depths, and as quick as it came on, it disappeared, but it made the way she saw him change. She caught the glimmer of the man he was beneath the exterior.
Gideon stared at the door, then closed the distance between them, pressing so close his body brushed hers. He pressed his mouth against her ear. “Peter thought you could be pregnant.”
Hope gasped and stumbled backward, the sink digging into her back to stop her. “What? That’s not possible.” She fled further into the bathroom, away from the accusation, away from that face, away from his body brushing against her that way that made her feel—
She was shaking her head over and over again. “No way. Not in this lifetime. Hell, no. No, no, no.”
Gideon took amusement from her panic. “With so much denial, it must be true.”
Hope spun to face him. “I’m not a lab experiment. Get that look off your face. It’s not possible. If it were? That would mean—” She shoved a finger at him. She scrunched her nose in disgust.
Gideon raised an eyebrow. “Nobody else’s? You’re positive?”
Hope narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “You’re disgusting. Does it sound like I want it to be true?” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “I’d love, love, love, for it to belong to anyone else. I’m sure you love gettin’ around, but not all of us are like that. Asshole.”
Gideon stormed over to her and backed her into the opposite wall. He stared down at her until she fidgeted. “I’d watch the attitude, I haven’t decided about killing you.”
As much as she hated him, the attraction was sealed for both of them. Hope tried to look at him with all the hate in the world. She tried to believe his false threat he tried so hard to convey, but beneath it all her resolve gave way. When she caught the same thoughts echoed from him, she turned away.
She couldn’t convince him she was human. Or Amaranthine at that point. He saw the differences. Hope had never known what it was like to be pregnant, it had never happened with Scott and she didn’t know it could. Nobody could get pregnant. She’d o
fficially claimed the title of I am not like the rest of you.
Gideon didn’t bother to ask her. He didn’t bother to say, ‘hey you, what are you? I know you’re not human.’ God, what would she tell him? So much she didn’t understand or know. It’d been so long and she’d forgotten things. Years passed by and memories fade. She knew enough. Centuries of life and fate finds ways to make sure you can hide amongst those around you, without knowing. But why her? Why did she get pregnant? And from this Amaranthine in front of her.
Hope sighed. What if the world found out?
She whispered, “Do it. If people find out, they will kill me. They will hunt me and stop at nothing to destroy me. If it’s true and I can carry it to term.” A tear fell down her cheek. “Or put me in a cage to breed me.”
Gideon slipped his fingers around her chin and turned her to face him. For the longest time his dark gaze studied her own. “You will never be placed in a cage, nor any child of yours,” he said with all the conviction in the world.
He left her alone and didn’t say another word.
TWENTY ONE
IN TIME, THEY LEARNED without a doubt she was pregnant. Gideon kept a closer eye on Hope after that, but it wasn’t as a man in charge, trying to keep her under control. It was as a man who watched the mother of his child to make sure she was okay, which made her resolve crumble further and further each day.
As the weeks passed by, she still didn’t show, and she still didn’t understand how it was possible that she, above everyone else, could get pregnant. There hadn’t been a pregnant woman in such a long time. Despite her being so different, she didn’t know she’d be able to have children. It shocked her as much as it would the rest of the world to find out.
Her body changed in other ways too. She became more aware of another consciousness inside of her. It was a strange sensation. There were times she knew it was a boy, but her own doubt got in the way. The trouble with being around humans for so long is one forgets that they aren’t human, and that one doesn’t have the same emotions.
Maybe it was why she felt human emotions, why Jake entered her life. Because she needed to remember that a part of her was still human and would stay human as long as she walked in this world. But then, what would come of her child? Would her child—if it came to term—be human? Amaranthine?
Or was she to produce a whole new child. One like her, capable of producing children himself, or herself?
While she cleaned on some days, Hope observed Gideon. Time would pass by without her noticing, lost in thoughts of what the child would look like. She prayed if it were a boy, the child would look like Gideon, despite the way he acted.
Dark soft brown hair, black eyes, soft nose, chiseled cheeks, not too full, but not too thin lips, a slight dimple in the bottom of his chin, strong hands. Such incredible charm when he laid it on.
Her heart skipped a beat those few times she’d raise her attention and find him watching her. The attraction was hard to deny and it grew fiercer each day. He stopped trying to break her, or hurt her, which made her lower her guard, and he accepted that she was the way she was.
The pregnancy did a number on her hormones. When Gideon cornered her to find out how she felt, being so close to him made her imagine crazy things she wanted him do to her.
“How are you feeling?” Hope said when he pressed her for an update.
Gideon smiled his irresistible smile and stepped closer. “I mean it, Hope. What are you feeling?”
Hope rolled her eyes. “I feel crappy and bloated and,” she glanced around at the room, making sure nobody was about, not letting Gideon in on how she was using her ears more than her sight. “Pregnant.”
“You know?” he asked, intrigued. The spark of excitement he showed made her grow more excited herself. “You’re sure?”
Hope looked down at her stomach. “Can’t you tell? My breasts are getting bigger and they hurt like you wouldn’t believe. I feel like I’ve gained a thousand pounds. So I feel heavy all the damn time and it drives me crazy.”
Did I give him permission to gawk at me? Gideon examined her, taking his precious time to check every inch. His hands followed soon after, raising her shirt so he could touch her bare skin. Hope sucked in a breath and it caused him to smile.
The smile did her in. Though she fought it as best as she could, strength abandoned her. Her hand rose to touch his cheek. Gideon didn’t move away from her touch. He said, “I can’t tell any difference.”
“By looking at me, or touching my stomach?”
“Hope I’ve been watching you, or haven’t you noticed? I’m a man. What do you expect?”
Hope grinned at the childlike aggravation he showed. Standing up on her tiptoes, she whispered in his ear, “I’m pregnant. For sure. With your child. If it makes it full-term, I’m hoping he’s a boy.” When she lowered back down, Gideon looked curious.
“Why?”
“Why, what? That I want it to be a boy?” Gideon nodded and she shrugged. “Just do.”
Gideon’s hand hadn’t left her stomach the entire time and Hope never moved it. He caressed her stomach after a moment of quiet and slid his touch around to her back. When her lids drooped, he slid her closer, rubbing her lower back. “Feels good?”
“You have no idea,” Hope said, lost in the pleasant sensations. Her eyes snapped open and she didn’t hesitate to correct the possible miscommunication. “Not that I like you or anything. I’m just sore.”
Gideon pressed her closer to his body. Hope inhaled his scent, losing herself to the continued free massage. Gideon whispered in her ear, “Feeling is mutual. Don’t worry about anything like that happening.” His mouth caught her neck and Hope sucked in a breath, not fighting his advances.
Gideon wasn’t lying about his feelings, but she had a hunch it would change, for her too. For now, he did magical things to her body and relaxed it in ways she needed. His hands so warm on her aches, giving her much needed support. The stress lifted for a moment. The baby took top priority. How much she enjoyed those hands wrapping around her hips and rubbing, that mouth making its way down her neck, and what was about to happen, wasn’t lost on her either.
Hope showed later in her term. When she was nearing the end of her pregnancy, people took notice of her unusual weight gain. Nobody else received extra food, but Gideon tried to give her more food when he could, when others weren’t around.
The guards noticed as well, and voiced their concerns. Half of the group didn’t see a point in letting Hope live.
“You understand what this means, Gideon? You can’t allow her to live. It’s not right,” Kaden pointed out. “A few of us talked it through. She’s not natural. Whatever she gives birth to won’t be natural. She has to die.”
Gideon was taken aback. Not only did they not care that a woman could get pregnant, but they dared question his orders? They had never been disloyal before this, and the idea of anyone calling his child unnatural hit a place so deep in him he could barely contain the rage that built.
The image of Kaden’s head being ripped off his body sunk through Gideon, and it took all Gideon’s resolve to control the sudden urge to place Kaden’s head on a spike. Along with the others who sided with Kaden.
Before Gideon reacted, he took a few days to calm himself. Then a few more. Once he could form words without killing anyone, he made sure they understood: leave her alone. Gideon tallied up the men with Kaden, and against him. From now on, he wouldn’t allow any of them near Hope.
The people in the church became further expendable. Hope needed the food and a silent war raged between Gideon and the opposing group who sided with Kaden. A war in which none of the prisoners were to survive, and didn’t.
It came to a head when Kaden’s group tried to kill Hope. A fight broke out and Gideon’s group won. Kaden knew nothing of war. His arrogance got him killed.
Gideon still couldn’t find anything in the way of feelings for Hope, but that child growing inside of her made him want things he
never had before. He wanted his child and would do anything to keep both mom and child safe.
The group that was left after the fight in the church moved on with Gideon and Hope, and they set up shop in an abandoned warehouse.
“I don’t see why you don’t leave. I mean nothing to you, same with this baby, so why is it so important for you to keep me alive?” Hope asked.
Gideon had made her a makeshift bed from abandoned wood pallets that was comfortable enough for her. At least that’s what she told him.
He no longer took as many chances with Hope. She was placed in a back corner of the warehouse they screened off with an old cloth. Gideon blacked out the windows so nobody could tell there were people inside the warehouse. His men canvassed the area for items they may need and kept the building secure at all times.
It was raining outside and Gideon was busying keeping a close eye on what went on outside the warehouse through a small hole left in the paint. He had his back to Hope, stiff as a board. Hope pulled her makeshift covers further up her body after she asked her question.
The cramps were worse for her today, but she tried not to show it. Gideon seemed to sense the way she felt more. It had to be stress. The men didn’t make her as comfortable as they thought they did. Gideon ground his teeth together. He sensed something off all day long and his nerves went into overdrive.
“You have no idea what I think, Hope,” he said absently.
A bolt of thunder shook the warehouse and Hope glanced up. I sure hope this place is leak proof. The storm had been going on for hours and it grew worse instead of better. It matched Gideon’s somber mood.
A gut feeling added to her already stressed out nerves, as though the thunder were speaking to her. Not possible. She shook her head and turned back to Gideon, who kept too close an eye on her.
Hope grinned. “Oh? Then why bother?”